Godspeed, Cane Adiss (v): Tatooine Regionals Non-Tournament Report and Stuff

Once again, Jon "Cates" Cates and I loaded up and headed south for some red-hot Star Wars CCG action this last weekend, and once again, we got blown out by Greenies but had fun in the process.

Tatooine Regionals was Saturday and Colorado States was the following Sunday. Both events were held in the banquet room at Johnson's Corner (the place with really good cinamon rolls south of Fort Collins). Saying we played cards at a truck stop sounds weird, but they let us have the room for free (but we had to buy food from them, oh woe was us). Team Wyoming did about as well as we'd done the month previous, with two last place finishes and two almost last place finishes. But whatever, I don't think that Jon or I would even be able to make Worlds if we won a bye, so let's have some fun.

I don't feel like typing a big recap and spotty tournament report (I didn't take any notes, and trying to remember 12 games over two days from a couple days back would be pretty weak reading), so here are some highlights of the weekened:

I got recognized by an attractive young woman in Casper from my time as a humor columnist for the University of Wyoming Branding Iron way back from 2001 to 2003 (or, if you prefer, before the dark times). So I guess four people that I didn't directly know read and enjoyed "Life Is Like A Mop."

Jon left all his decks but one at Tom's on Friday night, and Tom forgot to bring them to the tournament. Being the standup teammate I am, I lent Jon my SarlacCourt deck, which he switched a couple of cards out of and then beat me with in the tournament.

Broken Concentration is a lot more fun when you're the one playing it. Craig blew a SquAssign search for BoShek, then I moved the top card of his Force Pile to his Reserve Deck. He drew it for destiny, and lo and behold it was the Shekster (who is a lovely destiny 1).

Cane Adiss (v) kicks ass! so of course it's getting changed in the massive errata that's just about to hit. At least I got to bust it out against Rebel Senate shenanigans on Coruscant (ha ha!) and effectively punch speeders in the nuts (not that it won me the game, but HA! all the same). Of course, Jon nailed me with it when he played my deck against me - further proof I'm bad at this game, I don't even know what's in my decks.

I fed Han to the Rancor twice on Sunday. The first time, it won me the game (although I already had it wrapped up), the second day it was pretty much just a last minute flipping of the bird to Chris Fanchi, who had blown me out in our epic RanCourt versus Profit matchup.

Oh, yeah - the Sarlacc also ate my Han in my game against Jon, because I'm bad at cards. That man is friggin' delicious or something.

I hate Watch Your Step. Not really a highlight, but worth saying.

Jerry has fantastic facial expressions. Like his "does not want" face upon hearing the group chorus vocal at the end of Electric Six's "Electric Demons in Love"
We need to get some blank Fluxx cards and make the goals "Chocolate Rocket" and "Fuckloaf."

Jon and I both pulled white-bordered Tagge Seekers in our prize support from Wyoming States last month. Awesome. I also opened two packs of Death Star II and got a Flagship Executor and B-wing Assault Squadron - hot damn.

Dillon seriously needs to keep growing his hair out, hit the gym, get a tan, and become a real-life Dillio. I am dead serious, it would be awesome. Or, he could get a mullet and it would be so awesome it would bring about world peace. Again, I am dead serious.

Mark is a great Tournament Director, but he should have required decklists for Sunday as well as Saturday so I could write "I Want To Spend All Your Money At The Gay Bar" (the reference lives below) and "Cindy McCain's Sex Tape" in the deck title box. I did get to write "Palin-Cubin 2012" for my Saturday dark deck (it was a bad idea from a red state that maybe works half the time, and yes it lived up to its name).



Jon + camera + hot chick on a motorcycle in front of us on Grand Avenue = predictable results.

A big thanks goes to Mark for running two great events and the two-headed monster of Jerry and Diana for letting us crash at their place again. I feel it's worth repeating that everyone I got to play against was a good sport and it was a real pleasure. Thank you all!

Hope I die before I get rolled,
Regis

Why I Have Cable

While I have often considered following the advice of the Aquabats and turning off the idiot box (it's a disease, just like the chicken pox!), I just haven't been able to muster the will. There are too many good shows on, like Mad Men, and I love me my DVR (maybe even I'll get around to watching Seven Samurai one of these days).

And then something so awesome gets stumbled upon it totally makes my patronage of Bresnan (even if we still don't have VOD in Sheridan) totally worth it. Something that can only be described inadequately, and thereby must be experienced. BEHOLD!



Thank you, God, for creating MTV Tr3s,
Regis

Hump Day Happy Hour - CuCu Diamantes

I caught the video for "Mas Fuerte" by CuCu Diamantes the other night on one of the Spanish-language music channels (probably mun2) and was blown away - enough that I downloaded the album, which I can safely call pretty awesome (even if I have next to no idea what the lyrics are, as it's mostly en español). My boss (the Michael Jordan of Sensitivity) thinks I'm getting back to my roots (because Cuban = Mexican = Spanish = Basque). So do yourself a favor and check this one out.



Porque soy mas fuerte que tu,
Regis

This Week In Half-Assing It

In general, I'm not a big fan of half-assing things - at least, not if they have anything resembling serious repurcussions. You can imagine my chagrin when I read about one George Vera, a 500-lb inmate in Texas that confessed to smuggling an unloaded 9mm pistol into the Harris County Jail in his fat rolls.

Not only were the officers that searched him upon his arrest and again at both city and county jails clearly half-assing it, but Mr. Vera did the halfest-assing* job of all - the damn gun was unloaded! Seriously, Georgie Boy, if you're going to sneak a piece in, bring some fracking bullets!

*I realize that half of a 500-lb man's ass is bigger than my whole one, but that that's beside the point.

I've got bullets to spare,
Regis

Wait, What?

I ran across this at Balloon Juice and did a double-take.

A Colorado law recently signed by Democratic Gov. Bill Ritter not only requires motorists to give riders at least a 3-foot-wide berth, it also makes it illegal to throw things at riders, says Dan Grunig, executive director of Bicycle Colorado. Previously, he says, police could only cite a motorist if they actually hit the rider.

The main thrust of the article is good news - yay for commuting on bikes and safety, etc. - but it left me with a big damn question.

Does this mean it's legal to throw things at people in Colorado as long as you don't hit them, provided they aren't on bicycles? (I ask, because why would it have been legal to wing stuff at 'em if and only if they're on a bike? I mean, this is Colorado we're talking about, but seriously?) I'm not sure how I'd feel about that, but I need to find out before I get myself in trouble at Tatooine Regionals/Colorado States weekend this month.

I lost my girl and I lost my fun,
Regis

Sacrilicious?

My church is hosting a vacation bible school this week, and I got tapped to play the bad guy in the daily skits, a scenery-chewing mad scientist named Virus. The story is a little cheesy and fraught with terrible puns, but it's pretty fun and I get to ham it up something fierce while wearing a Hawaiian shirt IN SPACE, so it's all good.

On a semi-related note, I'm not a huge fan of hipsters, but "Hipster Job" made me laugh, so I'll share it with you.



And God was like, "Ain't no thang,"
Regis