False Watchmen Spoilers So Far

Being the team player I am, I have taken it upon myself to assist one of my fellow "Rainbow" cast members get mad before she goes onstage (to say the character is irate is to put it mildly). Since I lent Stacy my copy of Watchmen, it occurred to me that spoilers (false, of course, I'm not that big of an asshole) would do the trick. And while she hasn't punched me yet, the frequency and intensity of her threats to do so have increased dramatically.

Here's what I've told her so far:

• Rorschach is actually a woman, and wears the mask and gloves to hide her features and polished fingernails. Also, she's a Bouvier.
• Dr. Manhattan is gay.
• Watchmen is actually a rip-off of Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None - the Comedian faked his death and is trying to pick off the other costumed heroes.
• The best scene of the book is the one where Night Owl helps Silk Spectre shave her back.

Less than two weeks on the Doomsday Clock,

Regis